even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
