She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
