i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Vodka?
Forever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
