He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
