How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
