went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize