I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think people are normalizing furries
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
