i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize