I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
