is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
