he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize