his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
