They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
