i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
