i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
