Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
