were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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