If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
