Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
