I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
