The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize