so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize