She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize