YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
