sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
