There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
