Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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