if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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