I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
