that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
