He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
