I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
