I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
