We got so high we made milksteak
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You left your phone here
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