my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
