Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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