Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
