Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
