ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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