You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
