Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
