We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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