this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
