Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
