Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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