I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
