If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
