is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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