haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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