Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
