Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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