When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
wow bdsm is so cute
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
