do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
