I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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