Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
