Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
