I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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