Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize