porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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